Some weeks back the wife and I were dropping books off after hours at the Irvington Branch of the Indianapolis Marion County Public Library. As we drove up we saw a battered brown sedan with white spray-painted Juggalo declarations all over the quarter panels, doors, hood, and trunk. It was amusing but not out of the ordinary – as some of you surely know, Washington St. is a natural habitat for the wild Juggalo and it’s not uncommon to see signs of the Dark Carnival in every day life. When we got to the front of the library we notice that the likely owners of the car were sitting in the entryway typing on a laptop, stealing wireless internet access. Pretty clever for a juggalo, who are known to use simple tools but aren’t the most intelligent subset of homo sapiens sapiens.

Last week we received troubling news from a friend who works at the library. It seems that the Irvington Branch now turns it’s Wi-Fi off when it closes because there was a police run a few weeks back involving a battery and attempted theft of a laptop computer in front of the building. It appears the young juggalo (and likely his juggalette) was accosted while working in his “office” and escaped largely unharmed. Sucks for them ‘cos Starbucks got they shit on lock.